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BeckaBella Style Inspirations-7 Ways to Fight Insecurity

Living in a hardened and grossly insecure world driven by an ambitious competitive generation, with social media giving people an inflated sense of self can make it a challenge to live securely in our own skin as women. And as such, it might heighten that critical inner voice along a continuum if not careful. But when deceptive words are proclaimed to us at high volume, as illogical as they may be, they could be convincing and begin to compromise our own security.

As a person who grew up with relatives who never had something positive to say to me, I can assure you it wasn’t always easy to feel very secure in my own skin. Thankfully, kind and loving mentors in my mid-teens relentlessly pointed out my positive qualities and helped me create a new mental pattern about myself. Without their unrelenting compassionate guidance, I probably would have been a very different person today. Though at times, I still might get thrown for a momentary loop when confronted with insecure individuals trying to knock me down, over the years, having worked on not letting the echoes of someone else’s words define my character, has armed me with the ability now to see right past negative comments - peering behind their words - viewing them as just thoughtless, which is satisfying

True, feelings of insecurity are simply part of being imperfect humans and may never disappear completely, but there are ways to fight it and win! In this post, I’d like to share at least 5 of them.

1. Discern the difference between the truth and a lie. Be sure of who you are at the core. Knowing your good qualities will help you not take any negative, untrue comments thrown your way personally. And if you don’t know your good qualities, it’s time to start compiling a collection of anything positive anyone has ever said, or written to you. I have every positive card and letter from good’ol friends in a box that I can refer to anytime on the days I feel I need reminders. One of the things I did recently as I was filling out a questionnaire, was to ask three good friends to list my qualities. So ask your friends. 

2. Offset the addiction to listen. Think of the skill that’s required to drive on a busy highway. Unexpectedly, a situation may arise that makes it necessary for you to change lanes, yield, or come to a complete stop. If you’re alert and safety conscious, you see what’s ahead and react accordingly. It’s similar with disparaging remarks. When that happens, skillfully change lanes, as it were. Replace and dismiss the negative words said with YOUR positive qualities and move away from the individual.  

3. Be Yourself. Don't allow someone else's thoughts about you control how you view yourself. They don't live in your head and body. Instead, get comfortable in your own skin by learning who you are and what makes you unique, because every single person on this planet is different and possesses their own gift. Accept your own individualized unique gift and use it to benefit others and the world you live in.  

4. Avoid the Snare of Jealousy. After all, what usually prompts someone else to say negative things to you and treat you bad - most often comes from their own insecurity. Knowing the negative effect that it has, should make you avoid the insidious quality of jealousy at all cost, as it breeds you guessed it - insecurity. Instead, learn to "rejoice for others success" and be genuinely happy for their accomplishments and watch how much of a happier person you'll become. Believe me.

5. Look Beyond the Words. When someone lashes you with negative words or sends you a nasty email or text, try to discern what motivated the person to say what they did. Some say things because of pride in an attempt to make themselves appear they're better than you. On those occasions, just remember, insecurity causes many to put others down just so they can feel better about themselves. Therefore it has nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, sometimes we just happen to be in that person's path at that moment in time.

6. Don't Care too Much About What Others Say or Think. Let's face it, who likes to be judged. That's why almost everyone likes to be praised. Compliments can make us feel good, giving us a sense of accomplishment. On the other hand, any cold response or critical remark may crush our spirit. However, during our lifetime, we meet all sorts of people. It's a given then that we are bound to cross paths with people who will hurt us. Nevertheless, there's one basic tip (besides #5) to apply when someone says or does something hurtful and that's to remember viewpoints based on false information or influenced by envy and prejudice are irrelevant.

7. Cheer Yourself Up. Tap into the power within and turn off the switch from negative noise. This is where mental strength comes in and this affirmation comes in handy: "No one has power over you, unless YOU give it to them." I normally use a little aid in doing that by either turning on Netflix to watch one of my favorite aspirational movies, or put on one of my favorite playlists. But one thing that also works wonders is reading the Bible. That's always an upbuilding experience, or doing something nice for someone else. As we know, there's more happiness in giving than there is in receiving. I know I'm my happiest when I do something nice for someone else.



BeckaBellaStyleInspirations Grateful Moments
1. The sweetest surprise gift from a newfound friend with an unexpected message inside the mug that says: "I'm not bossy - I am the boss." Too funny.

Happy Friday you guys! I'm so excited that we are finally only two days away from heading into what’s pretty much going to be a summer long vacation. I can’t begin to tell you how overjoyed I am to get away from it all for now and go quiet the noise and chaos of house hunting, and an over-committed schedule. Next week, we’ll be exchanging all of that for views of magnificent mountains, glaciers, whales, seals and possibly grizzly bears (which probably will freak me out to see in person, but thrilling nonetheless). If these hints to where we'll be headed to for the first leg of our destination is not enough, stay tuned. I will be taking this getaway opportunity to figure out how to use Insta stories and share our experiences along the way during moments we get cell service. In the meantime, I've scheduled several fun posts, from how to ward off insecurity and five ways to get your life back to the top sunscreens for brown skin that are tried and true. The shop will also be getting updated twice a week, so keep an eye out for what I'm currently loving and adding in my closet.

BeckaBellaStyleInspirations Grateful Moments
2. That moment when you glance at your side view mirror and see God's creation staring right back at you, reminding me that soon all the chaos will be a thing of the past.

3. Sangria flight at one of our 'oldie but goodie' spots in Long Beach.

4. This was one more of those thoughtful gifts I received this month 
that brought me to tears for feeling so appreciated by friends. 

BeckaBellaStyleInspirations Grateful Moments
5. This cozy corner spot at an event this past weekend 
was my saving grace.



Beckabellastyle Favorite Links Around The Web

1. Eight of the best American cities to explore architecture. 

2. Really going gaga over these contemporary shoes!

3. The 4 tips you must know before starting an internship program.

4. Do you know what your aura color is? I was dumbfounded by how accurate the test is.

5. Are friends better for us than family?

6. Struggling with what hair color to get this summer? Here's how to find out which hair color best suits your personality.

7. The melding of the fun detailing of tassels and fringe (one of my favorite fashion trends) on this chic mama, add the right amount of drama and femininity.

8. Twelve must-have travel apps that'll come in handy when traveling.

9. Four simple tips to help you avoid brain fog



Topshop-Trench Coat-Floral Midi dress-Steven Madden Pump-NastyGal-Two-tone Crossbody bag

A couple of weeks ago on my weekly flower run, I was ecstatic when I walked into my local grocery store and unexpectedly spotted a plethora of Peonies! The next day, the way the flowers unfurled and burst to life in their perspective vases in our space just made my heart singgg! Considering how the beauty of these big, bold blooms make me brim with happiness adding drama and personality to our place, it's only fitting to respectively extend that same measure of cheerfulness into my wardrobe through the injection of some bold floral clothing pieces, like this dress. I love how pairing it with one of my wardrobe faves - a trench coat, grounds the bold floral print, thanks to its structural shape. It's a staple that even on the hottest summer days you'll find me wearing, since the weather can be a bit cool in the early mornings and late evenings, plus I'm always cold no matter the season. 

Topshop-Trench Coat-Floral Midi dress-Steven Madden Pump-NastyGal-Two-tone Crossbody bag

Topshop-Trench Coat-Floral Midi dress-Steven Madden Pump-NastyGal-Two-tone Crossbody bag

Topshop-Trench Coat-Floral Midi dress-Steven Madden Pump-NastyGal-Two-tone Crossbody bag

P.S. Two of my favorite stores are having some great sales right now:
Serena & Lily | 20% off with code: DREAMWORTHY til 6/15
Ann Taylor Loft | 40% off til 6/12

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Steve Madden Embroidered Carrson Block Heel Sandals

Out of all the latest trends, from tassel earrings and straw handbags to embroidered tops – the trend that speaks to me the most by far is all the intricate details of embroidery I've been seeing. I’m a girl who’s all about details and particularly ones that make a striking statement. Early on in the season, I scored one of the prettiest embroidered tops that have now become a favorite in my closet to the point I rarely put it on in fear it will wear out too quickly. In fact, the charming embroidery embellishments on that top is what got my creative juices flowing and made me look at my block heel suede sandals with fresh eyes. Though I love the neutral simplicity of the sandals, I felt like a touch of eye-catching color floral embroidery appliques on the heels would enliven the style and give them a fresh new look (like a good shot of Botox), making them even better addition to my spring and summer wardrobe.

Steve Madden Embroidered Carrson Block Heel Sandals

This DIY couldn’t be any simpler to do. Here’s what’s needed:        

     * Pair of favorite plain sandals 
     * Embroidery appliques of your liking
     * Fabric glue or iron-on appliques

Then the next step is:

Plan where you’d like to position the floral appliques on your sandals before gluing them on. Then, align the pattern in a way that’ll keep them facing in the same position. For instance, I made sure that my floral embroidered stems were each facing outward, like a V-shape.

Steve Madden Embroidered Carrson Block Heel Sandals

Once you have a good sense of the exact placing for your embroidery, start gluing them while being careful not to drop glue on the suede part of the shoes that are not going to be covered. Or if you went the iron-on route (which by the way, is a lot easier to apply), make sure to keep your iron from touching the other parts of the sandals that will not be covered, especially if they’re suede.

Steve Madden Embroidered Carrson Block Heel Sandals

Steve Madden Embroidered Carrson Block Heel Sandals

Nothing makes me more excited than customizing things to reflect my own unique taste. The best part of doing this diy embroidered block heel suede sandals is it makes me feel like I just got a whole new pair of brand-new shoes! I couldn't be any happier with how they came out. 

Stay tuned to what I’ll be pairing them with.



LuckyBrand_Lace_Wedge_Loft_Double_Bar_sunglasses_Ann Taylor_Celadon_Top

There’s really nothing I enjoy doing more than spending a day with my hubby strolling around town and eating out at our favorite restaurants. Given the nature of his deadline driven work schedule half of the year, I find myself doing something that I don’t normally like to do, which is praying for time to fly by the first quarter of the year. As we inch out of his very taxing work season, I get excited seeing a glimmer of the days of being cooped up in an office all day, night and most weekends no longer cramping our daytime dates doing the things that really make us happy. And nothing screams springtime more than the effortless style of a vibrant pair of wide leg palazzo pants - a perfect, comfortable alternative to my usual skinny jeans. Toned down with a classic celadon color tee, a lacy cardigan with sweet scalloped edging details finished with chunky wedge sandals and a pair of cool doublebar bridge round sunglasses made this look the perfect carefree outfit for springtime strolling. 

LuckyBrand_Lace_Wedge_Loft_Double_Bar_sunglasses_Ann Taylor_Celadon_Top

LuckyBrand_Lace_Wedge_Loft_Double_Bar_sunglasses_Ann Taylor_Celadon_Top

LuckyBrand_Lace_Wedge_Loft_Double_Bar_sunglasses_Ann Taylor_Celadon_Top

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